lost & found.

Somewhere between all of my cancer hoopla and having to re-start my life, for the umpteenth time, I lost my happiness. The sparkle in my eye dimmed, my smile was forced, and the tingly feeling I had, dwindled. This was the lowest point in my life and I acknowledged it, knowing I had no other choice. If I wanted to beat cancer like I had been telling everyone, I needed to cut the bullshit and learn how to love myself and be OK, alone. I'm a firm believer that you can't fully love another, unless you love yourself, first. It was the hardest thing I had ever done and one of the biggest life lessons that I've learned, yet. I let go of all the bad thoughts and expectations I had and freed myself of negativity. Meditation played a huge part in this process. I had a mental list of all the great things/people in my life and gave appreciation to them. I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself what I wanted in life. Answer: Happiness. Good things come to those who wait, right? Well, for once my patience paid off. Gradually, I found myself, loved myself and was genuinely happy.