This is as close to heaven as you can get, without being an Angel. I believe, Heaven is high above the clouds and right below outer space, where you can watch your loved ones live on and grow old, until they are given their halo and wings. There isn't heartbreak or pain, no wars. Cancer doesn't exist, there. It's quiet and peacefully perfect.
As far as religion goes, I'm not educated enough to make an executive decision on what I do or don't believe in. I plan on learning about many faiths and so in the meantime, I'll stand neutral. No judgement on others for what they think is right..or wrong. I've been told having cancer is a test or is only given to ones who are strong enough. Fine, I'm good to take it on. I'd rather have it be me, than any other. Recently, I found myself sitting in the pew of my parent's church, asking myself, "What am I doing here? Why am I following these people's beliefs? Is God listening to me, right now?". I didn't pay much attention to the songs that they were standing up to sing or for that matter, the sermon. As I sat, starring at the altar, my conversation with God began. I started with, "Hi, God..It's me, Tonya. It's been awhile since we've talked, but I hope you understand why. I've been mad at you for putting my family though so much. I understand that everything happens for a reason, though. I'm trying not to hold a grudge and to let things go." Usually, when I'm in need of talking to a higher power, it's my Grams that I pray to. Not God. I feel like she's been watching over me more than, "The Big Guy".
