What am I afraid of?
- Test Result Day... I always have anxiety about hearing bad news after getting my scans done. The majority of my results have been a big let down, leading to more surgeries than wanted; Which doesn't give a survivor very much hope on their Result Day.
- Dying... When you become a member of the Cancer Club, death is the first thing that comes to your mind and it's usually on your mind on a regular basis. I don't want to put my family and friends through that unimaginable, depressing, mess. I love life too much for it to be ripped away from me, especially at a young age. I want to live to a ripe-old age!
- Being alone... I don't like silence the way it is, but to be completely alone(no friends, significant other, or family) permanently is terrifying, because that would mean there wouldn't be any love in my life.
- Not being able to have children(someday)... When the time comes and I'm 110% ready and able to, I would love to be a parent. But, I've heard horror stories about most women, cancer survivors aren't able to, because of the treatments they undergo(radiation, chemo, etc.), so I pray to JBEE(Jesus, Buddha, Elvis, Etc. - Thank you for creating that acronym, Kris Carr) that I'll be lucky enough to be a Mom.
- NEVER finding a cure for cancer... Mother Earth is incredible and I do believe there is a cure out there, just waiting to be found!
"Our words have wings." - George Elliot
How's my relationship with my Doctor?
- Dr. Galanis is probably the best Oncologist I've met, yet that's pretty easy to be after meeting the physicians at the U of M. She's from Greece and travels to and from the U.S. many times throughout the year. I've never had a problem getting my 3-month appointments scheduled, unless I want to re-schedule, which I do understand is more complicated, because of her very busy life. Anyways, she is the most intelligent woman I've ever met and she has the kindest heart. I may have to wait an hour before getting into her office, but once she enters the room, it's always with open arms and a beautiful smile. She's never in a rush, even if I keep her for 45 minutes, answering my random questions, thoroughly. She's also referred me to one of the best thoracic(lung) surgeons at Mayo Clinic.
What promises to myself will I keep?
- I will graduate college with some type of degree(further than an AA).
- I will learn at least three languages.
- I will keep better communication with friends and family.
How do I find stability in the midst of safety?
- Knowing that it is possible to be happy WITH cancer.
- My two nieces are a daily reminder of how precious life is.
What is my Inner-Mother telling me?
- Eat better - Raw, Green, and Natural
- Cut back on sugar - NO SODA
- Slowly, remove meat from my diet
- Absolutely, NO FAST FOOD!
- Exercise once a day, no time limit - Just do it!(Thanks NIKE for the motivation? Ha.)
- Take my vitamins, however many there is, twice a day(day/night)
To keep in good health is a duty...otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." - Buddha
10 Things I Want to Try
- Learn Spanish and French
- Take kick-boxing lessons
- Rock climb
- Write a book
- Get my motorcycle license
- Paint the clouds
- Base jump
- Underwater cave explore
- Visit a cave, on every vacation
- Learn how to drive a manual car
What soul-fortifying things do I love?- Sweaters..especially old-lady lookin' ones
- The sound of a Harley Davidson
- Plush blankets
- Dandelions
- Time spent with my Sister
- The little-big things my Ma does for me
- Black olives(by the can!)and olives in my beer
- Emeralds(if I could afford one)and Opal
- Laughing at Chelsey Handler(through her books or T.V. Show)
- The Sun Set
- Nice messages, for no reason
- My pets(Jada, Pequito, Star, Harley, and Maggie - Even though she's really J's)
- Writing
- Discovery, HGTV, and Food Network
- Summer Nights
- July 4th and Christmas
- My VW, turbo kitty(car)
What Am I Grateful For?
- I'm grateful that I haven't had to drive in this winter's bad weather.
- I'm grateful for a self, paid-off vehicle.
- I'm grateful my parents have the ability to take care of me while in the hospital and at home during recovery.
- I'm grateful for the positivity my sister sends my way, everyday.
- I'm grateful for all of the people I do and don't know that pray for me, everyday.
- I'm grateful for my three Aunts, who are strong, self-sufficient women, that I admire, so very much so.
- I'm grateful that I have two guardian angels, that are my Grams and Bupa.
- I'm grateful that my G&G Peters are still alive and 'healthy' for the age that they're at(mid-80's).
- I'm grateful for Sugarland, always cheering me up with their lyrics.
- I'm grateful for alternative medicines.
- I'm grateful for Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN
- I'm grateful to still have my eyebrows.
- I'm grateful for my past, because it taught me what not to do in my future.
- I'm grateful that I can walk and that I have use of all of my limbs.
- I'm grateful for the stars.
- I'm grateful for every smile.
I am not cancer.
- I am blessed.
- I am loved.
- I am common sense-smart.
- I am healthy.
- I am fortunate.
- I am an open book.
- I am truthful.
- I am fun-loving.
- I am careful.
- I am ALIVE!
What are some things I need to feel confident enough to open my heart?- I need to learn how to love myself, again and be genuinely happy.
- I need to accept and love my scars + baldness.
What are 3 beautiful things about my body that any man/woman would be lucky to see and explore?
- My Stomach
- My feet(Off limits to touching, though..Ha!)
- Do fingernails count? ;)
What does Spirituality mean to me?
I was raised to believe in God, Jesus, The Bible, etc. I went to Bible school, Bible camp, I was Baptized Lutheran and Confirmed at a United Church of Christ. I learned a lot when I went to a Catholic Church Mass pretty religiously for 2+years. I've been called a 'mutt', Ha! So, I am very open-minded when it comes to religion. I want to learn about numerous types of religions(especially Buddhism), because it's History and I love that stuff. But, as far as Spirituality, I believe in the basic "Good things will come to good people" and of coarse, Karma. A special Rosary that was given to me as a gift, gives me a lot of comfort, lighting a candle and saying my own made-up prayer, and meditating outside with nature is my type of religion.
"INcurable: Curable from the INside" - Kris Carr, Fellow Cancer Survivor
